Those are words that I never thought I would write. No church planter honestly entertains in his head or his heart the day when he must share with the people who are at the church that it will be closing its doors. Today, those were the very words I shared with the people of Eternity Church.

24 months. That’s how long Eternity officially will have existed. That seems like such a short time. In reality, two years is an (pardon the pun) eternity. So much happens in just a few months but worlds can change in 24 months. Mine certainly has.

Two years ago, I, like anyone who is preparing for or actually at the birth of a child, was full of excitement, anticipation, joy,anxiety, and energy. I couldn’t believe it. Something I had only envisioned in my head was becoming a reality. The time was upon us. We didn’t know for sure what God was going to do, but we were eager with all our hearts to see Him do something amazing. There was a buzz. An extra spring in our step. I don’t know about anybody else, but I didn’t sleep at all before our first Sunday.

Today, I , like anyone else who has witnessed someone die from a long protracted illness, am filled with a mix of emotions. Thankfulness for the good times, great friends, and memories that I have because of Eternity. Sadness, because we didn’t accomplish our stated mission of planting a thriving church that would plant other churches. Doubt over whether I’m doing the right thing in pulling the plug. Remorse over bad decisions I’ve made. Anger over situations that I couldn’t escape. Fear for what the future holds. Trust that God will continue a good work in me and that all things work for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.

It’s amazing how quickly emotions change when you move from birth to death. When it’s only 24 months between the two it is very hard to process. But one thing is for sure – our very reality involves a never ending cycle of birth and death. Solomon was wise to write that for everything there is a season. And the season of time in which Eternity bloomed, existed, blessed, and grew is over. Now – its winter of death has come and today I shared with our folks that rather than ignore God’s clear hand upon our living and our dying – that I wanted us to die well. To die with hope. To die with anticipation. To die in such a way that the Gospel commands of us.

Today was not the end of our Christian journey but merely a transition to whatever the next step in our journey is.

I want to say a few words of thanks to the remaining members of Eternity. You’re dedication, willingness to serve, humility, selflessness, and friendship will never be forgotten. You are truly a Godsend in so many ways to Jenni and I.

To the folks attending Eternity – thank you for having allowed Jenni and I to be a part of your journey and thank you for being a part of ours. Please know that we are here for you as we make this transition and that we pray God’s blessings and favor on your as you look to Him for wisdom and guidance about what your  next steps will be.

To my Board of Directors – who shepherded me through this process with great tenderness, compassion, and love – I love you Randy, Jeff, and Julio. Your friendship and your brotherhood has sustained me and I thank God everyday that He has brought you into my life.

To LifePoint Church (both its elders and congregation) – thank you for allowing me to learn within your midst for over a year. And thank you for nurturing in me a desire to always live on mission wherever I am. Without your support and the friendship of so many while we were in the assessment process – we would have never taken this risk.

To my wife Jenni – thank you in ways I could never express on a blog. Short of salvation – no greater gift will ever be given to me than you. This has been a hard road for you as well – but you have never waivered and you have demonstrated amazing resilience and determination. I’m looking forward to many Sundays to come worshipping alongside of you instead of preaching to you as you sit on the front row!!

To my boys – may you never be afraid to take risks. And may your dad’s example show you that the greatest failure is to never have risked anything for the cause of Christ. To have risked and failed is merely to follow in the long line of footsteps started by the disciples themselves in their second mission trip that Jesus sent them on. They too failed but they never quit. May you fail spectacularly sometime in your life and come to know as your dad has – that Jesus is greater still.

There will be articles, reflections, and lessons learned to come in future blog posts. I know there are hundreds of church planters out there struggling as I have. I want to offer them hope. I want to offer them perspective. I want to offer them the Gospel – that despite our biggest and most spectacular failures – Jesus still died so that my sin could be forgiven. No matter what else may happen to me – I can be of good cheer – my sins are forgiven.

Eternity Church came to an end today. But God’s plan of redemption goes on. One local church may have closed its doors today. But the gates of hell will never prevail against the universal church. I pray none of us retire from the battle – but today we start looking for the next battlefield.

Soli Deo Gloria – 1 Corinthians 10:31 – Whatever you eat, whatever you drink, whatever you do – do it all (even if it’s closing a church) for the Glory of God.

Amen

I’m a huge Alan Jackson fan and someone posted today on Facebook the song he wrote after 9-11 - here’s the video from him performing it just a short while after the attacks:

As I sat and watched that video this morning, that day (a day you can never forget if you were in any way involved or knew someone close who was there) came flooding back to me. It was a beautiful day across America and in St. Louis it was no different. I dropped of my son who at the time was merely 18 mos. old (he’s now 10) at daycare and headed to work. As I shut off my Eddie Bauer Expedition at 7:53 CDT I remember Nan Wyatt and Doug McElven on KMOX saying that they had just gotten reports of a plane hitting the World Trade Center. Thinking nothing of it, I walked inside. It was a long walk (took about 10 minutes to get through underground tunnels and through security and to my desk). By the time I set everything down at my desk inside of CitiMortgage’s building, the place was beginning to really buzz. I asked what was going on and someone said that a 2nd plane had hit the 2nd tower. It was 8:05 CDT.

As I watched everyone rush to the cafeteria I followed where somehow someone had already gotten a TV on a cart set up and we sat there absolutely mesmerized. I mean stunned. I remember silence. No one had any words. No one could say anything. It was 8:15 CDT. And it was about this time that it hit me - HOLY *@*$# my wife is right there. I panicked. I began trying to find anyone in our building who knew the whereabouts of the team that had flown into New Jersey the night before and was meeting at our building right across the Hudson River.

2 Hours. 2 Of The longest hours I’ve ever spent or will ever spend on this Earth. 120 minutes. I didn’t know if she was alive. I didn’t know if she was dead. But here I was, helpless, 1,000 miles away watching terrorists use planes as missiles and destroying buildings just hundreds of yards where my wife was. I watched buildings fall. I watched people jump to their death. I watched chaos like none of us have ever seen descend upon lower Manhattan and pretty much the entire USA. Was she dead? Would I see her again? Would my son ever know his mom? What have I done? What has my desire for the American dream cost me? Would God forgive me? How would I ever explain this to her family? How could I ever go on? My world - much like the towers - was imploding and leaving my version of what mattered in life in a big pile of rubble. 2 hours.

Then, just after 10:00 am CDT - the phone rang. It was my wife. She was alive. I could hear panic in her voice. I could hear air raid sirens in the background. I still to this day have no idea how she got a phone call out. Thank God for cellphones that day. And the first words out of her mouth: “I don’t know what’s going to change, but something has to”. Words that changed the course of our lives. Words spoken directly from God himself. Words that pierced a selfish husband’s soul.

I did sit down and cry that day Alan. I also spoke to stranger on the street. I did dust off that Bible at home. I did go to a church where I asked an entire congregation to pray that my 18 mo old son would see his mom again. And I did thank God I had somebody to love. And 9 yrs later - I cling tight to my family. And I cry again as I remember that day. I remember picking Trey up from daycare and holding him so tight. I remember barely being able to drive because I was shaking so bad. I remember Jim Friedrichsmeyer (one of the most Godly men I have ever met) comforting me. I remember my boss telling me to get out of work and go. I remember how crisp and beautiful that day was. I remember sitting alone in a huge empty house wondering what the hell good it was if the woman that I loved so much wasn’t going to be there with me. I remember Jenni’s mom and dad calling me to ask if their daughter was alive?

I did rejoice Alan because my wife was able to drive away from the rubble. And I did sob for the one’s left below. I did burst out with pride for the red, white, and blue and the heroes who died just doing what they do. They, along with my life, were forever altered. I, was blessed by God to be able to hug Jenni 2 days later. They, this day don’t have that luxury.

And yes that night, I opened my eyes and hoped it never happened and closed my eyes and did not go to sleep. I sat on the back deck, smoking a cigarette and wondering how much different things could have been that day. And how different things were going to be afterwards.

And 9 years later - I remember clearly where I was when the world stopped turning on that September day. And I hear the echo of those words: “I don’t know what’s going to change - but something has to.”

And I wonder - is God saying those words to me again today?

In a world where everybody is protesting something, there are certainly some protests and displays that are sure to garner more attention than others.  A church in Florida deciding to publicly burn the sacred text of the Islam faith is sure to qualify.

Since I am a pastor, and thereby uncritically placed on the same team as these folks in the minds of most, I felt a stirring to write my thoughts on the matter.  And I start where most folks these days seem to start and that is simply asking a cliche question:  “What Would Jesus Do?”

And my answer to that question is formed from looking at this from a completely different angle than most folks are.  Most people are going to ask the question whether it is wise or discretionary to do something so outrageously offensive to the Muslims.  They’ll ask questions such as “Will this incite more terror?”  or “Will this hurt our troops overseas or make Americans overseas more of a target?” etc etc.

The real question to me is this:  “Does Jesus Need Defending?”  I mean, at the heart of it, this church is doing this to make a statement that Jesus is superior to Allah.  They are making a public display of their feelings towards Muslims and their beliefs.  And at the heart of this protest is a belief that if they don’t do something such as this and bring awareness to their feelings, that Islam stands a better chance of advancing and Jesus is in really deep trouble. In street talk - it’s a way of religious people saying “We Gotta Fight - For Our Right - To Jesus”

The problem is, what kind of Jesus does that portray?  If Christ is coming back on a white horse with a flaming sword one day to put all His enemies under His feet, then this type of protest kinda conjures up a pretty lame Savior.  It sorta says “Hey, one day I’ll make all these people bow to me, but right now I’m kinda unable to do anything, so let’s resort to poking them in the eye by burning their sacred text - that’ll rally the troops to help my cause out — and if we raise enough awareness - maybe we can beat these heathens back a little cause right now we’re getting our butts handed to us on a plate”.

You see the problem there?  Jesus never presented His mission as one of defending Him.  He presented it as a mission of confident victory.  And in the confidence that the outcome is sure, we (as Christians) are free to go on the offensive not with protests and media circus’ but rather love, humility, service, and even freely laying down our lives that would seek to kill us because of our beliefs.

And if you look hard enough, you’ll see that no where in the New Testament where any follower of Christ blatantly took the opportunity to desecrate someone else’s holy.  Paul didn’t walk into the temple eating pork steak and burning the Isaiah scroll.  Thomas didn’t go to India and start passing out hamburgers.  Luke didn’t enter Rome and burn the Caesar’s image in effigy.  Why?  Because if the goal of the mission of Christ is to see hell less full, then it doesn’t make sense to do something so blatantly offensive that it absolutely destroys the chance of the person hearing the gospel.

Burning a sacred text and making a media circus of it isn’t courageous.  It’s cowardice.  It’s refusing to trust Jesus with our lives and with our love.  It’s a modern day example of Jonah and his hatred of Ninevah.  What takes courage is to be a living example of the gospel.  To leave comfortable America, make friends in a foreign land, lovingly call them to repent, attempt to persuade them of the Jesus who created them, and when they kill you for it, not to be offended by their slaughter, but rather pray for their forgiveness.

The saying wasn’t “love your friends and provoke your enemies by finding their most sacred object and stomping all over it”..the saying said “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”

I think Jesus would put the lighter down and encourage us to pick the cross up.

Wow, I look on the blog and see that it’s been almost one YEAR since I last did anything related to this blog.  Crazy how time gets away from you.  And for me, crazy how the urge to write comes and goes.  I feel it tonight though and want to share.  You see, tonight I went to the Cole County CharacterPlus Kickoff event held at the Miller Center here in Jefferson City.  Dan Westhues, Ryan Freeman, and Gara Loskill did a great job spearheading the effort to draw all of Cole County into the effort and 12 values were selected that we are going to focus on in Cole County schools over the next 12 months.

It was amazing to see how many people came out to support the effort.  It was amazing to see our community come together.  And I was proud to be a part of it and I am happy to support it (even if the word I defined didn’t get picked ).  It is a great thing that so many people care that our students turn into men and women of character.  It is refreshing to understand that we all have a stake in this.  It is nice to be a part of a community that would care to do this.

I only want to add one thing.  And this is the moment where everyone in the room goes “of course a pastor has to preach”.  You see, we can turn out responsible, respectful, polite, compassionate, kind self-disciplined, trustworthy, honest, dependable, hardworking, motivated, accountable, forgiving, and integrity-filled students.  And a person who fits that description is a good person.  It’s a good thing to shoot to produce that kind of person.   It is a commendable goal to strive for.

But as a pastor, I say to all of those students that if they display those things that’s great.  They are a person of character.  But when you stand before God, I plead with you not to TRUST in those character traits to justify you before God.  There is one notable character-flaw in all of us.  Sin.  And it trumps all the 12 positive character traits we are teaching you.  And when you stand before God, and He asks you why you should be allowed to spend eternity with Him - I plead with you not to make your answer “because I was a person of character“.  No matter how well you master these 12 characteristics.  No matter how good of a person you are, there is one, and only one, answer to your greatest character flaw.

The Cross.

And it was on that cross that your greatest character flaw was dealt with.  And it is that cross by which we are justified before God.

I stand in unison with all of the sentiments expressed at tonight’s event and am truly thankful that God is at work in our city and in the people of this city’s collective hearts.  What I have said contradicts none of it.  I say what I say merely to say “I would only add one thing”.

I can’t wait to see those banners!

What does the first chapter of the book of James in the Bible have to do with the murder of a 9yr old girl in Jefferson City?  And what does it have to do with us?

Click on the link below to listen or right-click to download:

The Danger Of Not Repenting Of Sin

Click on the link below to listen or right-click to download:

How Should Christians Rest?

Click on the link below to listen or right-click to download:

Whose Reputation Do You Care About?

Click on the link below to listen or right-click to download:

Can We Ever Be Truly Dependent On Jesus?

Click on the link below to listen or right-click to download:

Does Jesus Expect Me To Be Poor?

Click on the link below to listen or right-click to download:

Who Should I Listen To Concerning My Marriage?