Over the last six months, we have had several opportunities to buy birthday gifts for kids of friends. One of our standard gifts has become the 20Q game and it really is fascinating. You can think of just about anything, and within twenty questions, most of the time, it will guess what you are thinking. Don’t believe me, try it!

As we watched kids play it, several adults commented to me that I essentially do the same thing to people when I first meet them. It’s become something of a joke in our community group when someone new joins the group. But my philosophy is simple: I can learn a TON about you in just twenty questions. And I WANT TO LEARN A TON about you. I don’t do my twenty questions for wrong reasons. I do it because people fascinate me and I love hearing their stories.

This was something that I learned during my time at Upward and I hope to see really take root in the people of Eternity. I fear sometimes we just simply don’t know how to go through conversations with people because we don’t know what kind of questions to ask. But if you ask the right ones, after just 20 questions, you can have a really good idea of who you just met. So, what are my 20 questions? Here they are (and you should try this with someone you don’t know at all, or don’t know that well just to see if I’m right):

Hi Tom: I’m Marc Backes — good to meet you:

  • What do you do Tom?
  • How long have you been there?
  • What did you do before that?
  • What school did you go to?
  • What did you go to school for?
  • Tom, are you married?
  • How long have you been married?
  • How did you and your wife meet?
  • How did you ask her out the first time?
  • How did you propose?
  • Do you have any kids?
  • What are their names?
  • Are you from here?
  • Where do you live?
  • Are you a musician?
  • Are you a reader?
  • Are you a golfer?
  • What’s going on in life right now?
  • What’s your favorite television show?
  • Do you feel like I’m giving you the 3rd degree?

Obviously, answers to questions are going to prompt other questions, but this is kind of my outline. You’ll be amazed at what you learn about folks as they answer these questions. BTW, I don’t suggest having the list in front of you as you’re talking!